


Panic

by thefutureisequalaf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I basically rewrote the second half of 302
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 07:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12743532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefutureisequalaf/pseuds/thefutureisequalaf
Summary: Prompt: Lena finds Kara in the elevator when she’s having the panic attack. 3x02.





	Panic

“It’s personal. And I don’t want to talk about personal things at my job, I have work to do.”

“Okay. Then let’s talk about work.” Lena’s face looked both stern and drawn. “This is unacceptable behavior for an employee. You ran out this morning when I gave you an assignment, missed a staff meeting, and now, when asked to do a job by your boss, you act like it’s an inconvenience. I did not spend seven hundred and fifty million dollars on a company as a favor to a friend, nor do I plan on being an absentee landlord. I’m a businesswoman and this is an investment. I plan to get out of it everything I can.”

Kara looked away, her heart in her throat. “I’ll get in touch with your contact at the bank.”

“Thank you.” Lena walked away.

Kara was scarcely beginning to process what had happened when her phone rang. _“Kara, she hit another bank.”_

“I’m on my way.” The elevator doors closed and Kara pulled her shirt open. This time, she was getting that woman. This time-

She felt dizzy. She stumbled towards the column of buttons but couldn’t get her finger onto the right one. The walls of the elevator swam and lunged at her. She sank down in the corner, unable to breathe. She needed to get out. Light, she needed light. There was light through the ceiling.

She didn’t hear the doors open. “Kara? Kara!”

Light was her escape.

“Kara!”

Something tugged at her arm and she jumped through the roof. Only when she'd smashed her way into the open sky did she look down.

Lena clung to her wrist for dear life.

“Lena!” She grabbed Lena's arm with her free hand and pulled her up. Lena's other arm went around her shoulders while Kara held tight around her waist. “I've got you. I've got you.” Slowly, so as not to frighten Lena any further, she flew back to the CatCo building roof. “Your feet are on the ground,” she told her, but waited for an acknowledgment before she let go.

She got one, albeit not in a form she expected: “Holy shit.”

Kara relaxed and slid her hands to Lena’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Lena stared at her, eyes as wide as they could go. “My best friend just yanked me through a skyscraper. No, I'm not okay.”

Kara rephrased it. “Are you injured?”

Lena touched a few places on her head and shoulders, wincing at each. “I’ll have some bruises and…yep, skinned my elbow. Scrapes on both arms…”

“You've got a few tears in your clothes, too,” Kara pointed out apologetically.

“Yes, and debris in my hair.” She brushed off her head and looked at Kara with worried eyes. “Were you having a claustrophobia attack down there?”

“I guess – I mean, there’s this metahuman who can exploit fear. She's the one robbing banks and…” Kara remembered the DEO. “I need to go, Lena.”

“The hell you do. You need to fly me back to my apartment so I can get fixed up.”

 _“Supergirl?”_ Alex’s voice came in Kara’s ear.

“I’m okay.” She took a deep breath. “I’m headed there now.”

Lena looked at her. “Who are you talking to?”

_“She got away.”_

Kara let her shoulders sag. She’d failed before she even started. “Alright, I’ll take you home. The best way to fly is with me holding you and your legs hooked around…” She started to shake.

Lena caught her shoulders and helped her sit down. “What is it, Kara?”

Kara shook her head and continued shaking. Lena knelt in front of her and held her tight. “I’ve got you now, okay? You're safe. We're both safe.”

“You’re safe. You're safe.” Kara's shaking subsided. “Rao, Lena…” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I almost killed you!”

“But you didn’t.”

“Only by blind luck.”

“There’s no future in being afraid of past events. Trust me, I know.”

“Lena, Lena I'm terrified that I almost lost you.”

“Are you going to stay terrified or will it motivate you to conquer whatever caused your panic attack?”

Kara snarled and stood. “I’m going after Psi.”

Lena grabbed her arm. “No, you’re not. You’re coming home with me and coming to terms with this.”

She took a deep breath, then another. She owed Lena that much. “Okay. Where do you live?”

* * *

Kara sat on the edge of Lena’s couch. She’d just had a panic attack and it nearly got her friend killed. Supergirl had to be better than that. For the sake of the whole city, she had to be better, but she'd failed. She leaned forwards, elbows on her knees and head in her hands. She'd failed.

At least Lena was still alive. Kara listened to the sounds of running water coming from Lena's bathroom. She probably should've taken Lena to the DEO to get patched up. Not that the DEO would like a visit from Lena Luthor, but she ought to be there, too, getting her mind checked out. Then again, what did that matter, if she had no defense against Psi anyway? Maybe Alex would call to say Winn had made some gizmo to protect her, but if not, then what? Supergirl was broken.

And here she was, in the apartment of the friend-turned-boss who'd just torn her apart for her behavior. It wasn't like Lena was wrong, either. Kara Danvers had become a self-absorbed mess. Both halves of her life were in ruins. If Lena was still mad at her, or upset that she'd lied about her identity, then…then she was about to lose the closest, dearest person to her, excepting only Alex. Her situation called for tears and they came readily.

Footsteps in the hall made her straighten up. “Kara.” Lena sat next to her. “Now I think I understand more of what’s weighing on you. As your friend, I’m sorry I was harsh on you. Take as much time off as you need.”

Kara shook her head. “I don’t want to.”

“Kara, I’m not asking. Your job will be there when you’re ready for it again.”

Kara sucked in her cheeks and nodded. She made eye contact for the first time since Lena sat down.  “You haven’t said anything about how I’m Supergirl.”

“What’s to say? What matters is what you’re going to do next.” She waited for Kara to nod again. “You said something about the bank robber exploiting fear?”

Kara shuddered. “She…makes you live your worst fears. Like, she looked at me and…and I was in the pod…” Kara closed her eyes and took a long, shaky breath. “I watched my planet die again. I saw the alarms go off in my pod, felt it tumble towards the Phantom Zone, and I couldn’t…there was nothing I could…”

Lena’s eyes were soft. “You felt helpless?”

Kara nodded. “Helpless and alone. I think, in the elevator, I felt some of the same…like it reminded me of being trapped in space.”

“Oh, Kara.” Lena reached out a tentative hand and touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to live through that again. We all have our fears. Most of us cope by tamping them down, but if this woman is bringing them to the surface, then you need to get ahead of her. The next time you face her, what’s going to come up?”

Kara tried to reach into the darkest corners of her soul. It was hard; she didn’t really want to dig up what was there. Lena was right, though. If she could find her fears now, at least she wouldn’t be surprised by them. She’d be armed, knowing it was all in her head.

She saw a pod again, but it wasn’t hers. It was Mon-El’s, and it was about to be hit by a coronal mass ejection. Or an asteroid. Or anything. Mon-El would die, and it would be her fault. She’d pushed the button. She’d condemned him. She’d…

She felt a brush of skin under her eye. Focusing again, Kara found Lena wiping away her tears. “Mon-El. What if s-something happened? If he’s dead, it-it’s my fault. We should have heard from him by now. I put him in there and he died. I killed him.”

“Kara, did you do your best?”

It felt wrong to say it. She couldn’t think of anything else she might’ve done, but it felt wrong to say it was her best. Not when her friend was adrift in space, again without a home and a family.

“Did you do your best?”

Kara worked her lips. “I don’t know what else…what else…”

Lena insisted. “Did you do your best?”

Kara gave in and nodded.

“Then don’t let your caring for him turn into blame for yourself. Of course you’re worried about him, but that’s all it is. Worry and fear. You know how to get through that.”

Kara didn’t feel so sure. “How?”

“You stand straight, put on a brave face, and keep going. Kara, every day when I wake up, I have to convince myself that I can be a good Luthor. Every day, I’m afraid I’m going to slip and fall into the same corruption which consumed my brother and mother, but I don’t stop what I’m doing. I make myself do the right thing, even when I don’t believe I can. Sometimes, after I’m done, I come home exhausted and collapse in bed. I’ve cried myself to sleep in that room,” Lena pointed to her bedroom, “and I know I will again, but I don’t give up. I rest and I get up again and I fight it, because it’s just fear.”

“’Just’ fear.” It didn’t feel like it when Psi attacked her. It felt huge, it felt consuming – it felt real.

“It’s just fear,” Lena repeated. “It’s something inside you. You can counter it with thoughts and your other emotions. If you feel the fear about leaving Krypton again, you can call on the love your parents had for you that made them send you to safety. You can reach into your feelings for Mon-El and remind yourself that you didn’t let go until you’d done absolutely everything you could for him, and that he knows it.”

“It’s true,” Kara said with a heavy sigh. “He left knowing that I tried everything.”

“And that’s the treatment for fear, Kara. Truth.”

“I don’t know it’s true that he’s alive.”

Lena took her hand. “But you do know it’s true that if he is alive, it’s because of you.”

Kara nodded. “I saved him from what I could save him from.” She squeezed Lena’s hand. “Thank you.”

Lena smiled into Kara’s eyes. “You told me that you’d always be here for me. I will always be here for you, Kara.” Kara nodded, tears coming again, and Lena held her close. Kara melted in her arms.

_“Kara? We have her again.”_

“I’m coming.” Kara moved to stand, but Lena tugged her close one more time and placed a kiss on her forehead. She let go and smiled. “Go get her, Supergirl.”

* * *

Psi sent a wave of psychic energy straight at her. It struck Kara in the chest and she felt her heart clench. Her steps faltered. Mon-El was off course, heading for a black hole, and – and she’d saved him when she could. She put one foot in front of the other. Psi launched another blast. Krypton exploded, her parents falling into fire as her planet shattered – but they loved her and her new family loved her. She took another step. Psi threw everything at her, starting to look frantic. Alex was angry at her, bitter and jealous – Kara shook her head. No, she wasn’t. She advanced, each step coming easier, each psychic hit feeling less powerful, until she was eye to eye with her assailant. Psi stared, incredulous. “Why aren’t you scared anymore?”

“Mind over matter.”

A head-butt seemed appropriate.

* * *

Kara felt awkward returning to the office. She wasn’t sure if she should, since Lena had told her not to, but after facing down Psi, she felt the confidence to be Kara Danvers again. When Lena saw her enter, she came straight to her. Kara steeled herself. “So I, uh, got in touch with your contact at the bank and he will be a great source on Edge.”

“I’m glad it was valuable.”

Kara swallowed, looked away, found something to fidget with. “Uh…I need to apologize for my behavior earlier. You’re right, I have a lot more baggage than I previously thought.”

“I know it can’t be easy.”

“You were just trying to be a good friend to me and I bit your head off and I’m…”

Lena smiled. “This is new to me, too.”

“Working with friends?”

Lena chuckled. “No, having friends! Luthors don’t have friends, we have…minions, you know, so I think there’s going to be a learning curve for both jobs.”

“No, no, Lena, today you were a really good friend and a great boss. Honestly.”

Lena looked away, smiling an embarrassed smile. “I’d really like to give you another hug, but I’m afraid I’d show favoritism.”

“Uh, screw that. Come ‘ere! Bring it in.” They embraced.

“I’m always here for you,” Lena whispered in her ear. “Both of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed :)


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